Saturday, March 5, 2011


Sometimes being a parent fucking sucks.  I honestly wish people thought longer and harder, before they get longer and harder.  Yeah, that might be a bit crass, but whatevs.  The amount of responsibility that comes with overseeing, guiding, massaging, and encouraging a child's life is a lot.  It really is.  Besides that cute cuddly baby?  Oh he turns into a teenager with stinky feet, p.s.  I love 'em.  Lord knows it.  Anything in my power, I'll do to protect my babies.  I will.  In fact, I'll take off work hunting down a vicious dog to safeguard 'em.  Let me back up...

earlier this week (actually four weeks ago, b/c that's when I started this post)

I'm at work, on time I might add, putting the finishing touches on my morning make-up and I get a call.  On my mobile.  From my daughter.  She normally texts when she's at the bus stop or on it.  I raised my brow at her call and her screaming and panicking.  I couldn't make her out at first, but then she said it.  A FUCKING PIT BULL WAS CHASING HER AND MY SON WHILE THEY WERE WALKING TO SCHOOL. 


I tried to calm her as she screamed and begged "Mommy what do we do? What do we do?"  I'm tearing up, side note.  I was in DC, at least 25 minutes away from them.  There was silence and rustling and *tustling then she said they were able to "escape" and were running back home.  This was AFTER she jumped on top of a car and my son hid behind it.  The dog apparently lives at the same house which houses a monstrous Rottweiler, who taunts ANYONE looking at the 6 foot wooden fence that surrounds him. Once they were in the house, they called me.  At this point, I was on my way home to take them to school.  I was also on the line with Animal Control.  So "funny," because as I kept recanting this story, I've used Animal Control and Patrol interchangeably.  I'm  pretty sure it's the former.  Where was I?  Oh, so I make it home and I get the deets and I'm so thankful that my babies weren't hurt.  When I saw the proximity of where they were walking and where they were encountered and hid, I'm in awe.  Because this house is located on a tight bend of a road, most cars almost come to a complete stop when approaching it.  It was a commuter coming around the bend that saved my children.  The dog was distracted by the car and proceeded to follow it, while my kids were sneaking away from the dog's presence and view.  Once in the clear, they ran down the long stretch of a road to safety and ultimately in our house.

Words can not describe how relieved and thankful and happy I was to see them.  I got them together and took them both to school.  For the rest of the day, I proceeded to track that fucker's every step.  I drove past that house several times and each time the dog was either sitting on the porch or pacing the fence parameters.  I call Animal Patrol and they said they'd sent someone to the house, but the dog was nowhere around.  Eventually, I was put through to the dispatcher who said another person would be coming back out.  In an attempt to keep him local, I grab two plastic cups and filled 'em with dog food and got in the car.  ****I drove around to see him and was going to throw food alllllll over the front yard to keep him busy while Animal Control were on their way.  #fail  I never saw the dog again, but in hindsight I realize how much of an idiot I was.  I should have thrown the food anyway!!!!

I went back home feeling defeated.  I called Animal Control...again.  There were no updates, so I fell asleep for a few minutes.  I popped up and got in my truck and drove to the damn house again.  See, as a parent I couldn't imagine my kids walking to school again without some resolution.  When I approached the corner where the house is located, I saw a police car (yay) and a huge animal van (yayyyyyyy).  Instead of doing the most, I kindly hooked a U and came back home.  Need I say that I called again?  This time they confirmed my dreams coming true.  This time I fell asleep for more than a few minutes.        

*tustling is not a real word, though commonly used like **scacey.
**scacey is not a real word, though commonly used and ***supposedly means airy, amongst me and my best girlfriends, two of which are sisters, who inherited this vocab from their mom, who probably passed it on from her momma.  
***thinking scacey and its use are hilar, it now means many more things, but it's mostly still airy or thin (as in hair) or sketchy as in neighborhood or someone's demeanor. 
****That 2pointsomething GPA and Bachelor's in Criminal Justice didn't go to waste, see?


  1. I think I might get my gun and shoot the owners then the dogs or maybe the dogs then the owner.

    A pitbull got crazy and approached my baby girl. I pulled out my screwdriver and the owner redirected the dog. I was wishing I'd been armed with a gun. I would have used it on one of them.

  2. Oooooh I totally feel you Ames. I'd like to keep a taser handy too, LOL.


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