Call Waiting *(NSFW)

I know, I know.  I'm picky as fuck.  That's what you might think, but I don't agree.  Spoiled?  Nah, only my father does that. What adjective or compilation of clever words can I use to describe what I'm saying, without blurting it out?  Ef it.  I can't.  I'll just say it.  I hate to be put on hold!  Nooooo, that's not it.  I hate when I'm talking to someone and they say "I'll call you back."  I'm not spoiled.  I'm NOT.  Fine.  Maybe I was in this regard.  You see, my ex (boyfriend, not hubby) is a talker.  That sucka could go on and on and on and on and I loved him for it.  I gets my talk and listen on and we complemented each other in that way. He was indeed, the best friend a girl could have.  Because he was my primary goto phone buddy, our conversations were rarely interrupted.  In hindsight, I'm sure a slew of chicks were calling his ass and he didn't answer, but nevertheless on those very rare moments, he'd put me on hold and even fewer times he'd end our call.  He is the exception.  I have to tell and remind myself, sometimes.  Still, I don't think it's "fair."  Like, when the fuck do I get upgraded to "I'll call you back" status, because "Tiff's on the other line"?  I'm serious!?!

My best friend Sabs, for example, is notorious for this shit.  No lie.  We could be mid-sentence, story even, and she will roll me the fuck out in an instant and mumbles her exit.  The hold will be abrupt, but pales in comparison to her "lemmecallyouback" slur.  I hate her.

She's not alone though.

Am I the only person who doesn't find a call from my mom as dire and a necessity?  No diss, there's much love but we ain't talkin' 'bout shit important.  We ain't!  What she ate for lunch or I'm telling her something the kids did, but uh that's it.  Even when I was boo'd up or married, my guy's beep didn't mean the end of a conversation.  It just didn't.  Perhaps it should have, LOL?  Nah, a few missed calls couldn't have saved our relationship.  I'm just saying,  that shit irks my nerves, buttttt it's getting better.  I expect it and so it doesn't bother me as much as it used to, despite this post.  'Sides, texting has been my remedy and it works.

*not safe for work label only because the cursometer is high, ha.

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Mission Possible

I tell ya, I never envisioned myself one to participate in or need the assistance of a Life Coach, but I do.  We all do, in my opinion.  The presence of one doesn't have negative connotations.  It means you're all about improving your life space.  I see nothing wrong with it.  Day 6 of my 31 Day Reset Program calls for me to put together a mission statement, based on the values I've identified as being most important to me in Day 5.  I kept this to myself, but am sharing my mission statement.  P.S. I'm actually hella late on my other days, but this program is important for me to complete, so I'm playing catch up today.

Thanks for reading...

"My life will always be meaningful, because honesty is my highest value.  I will strive to incorporate authenticity and truthfulness in everything that I do, say, and become.  I hope to be an example for my family, friends, enemies, and strangers.  With sincerity and financial responsibility, I will secure my children's futures.  I will give love and accept it, like I've never been hurt.  I will dance and sing and travel with him.  Like a lotus flower, I will fearlessly blossom.  I will shamelessly share my Buddhism and become a Bodhisattva. Through my spirituality, I will conquer fear and I will win.  I will win."  

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You've Been Warned

Earlier today, I received this email, from my mother, addressed to me, my sister, and my Uncle (her brother).  


"Good morning, just wanted to let you know that someone at my job's Facebook account was hacked into. The person was sending emails to her Facebook friends and saying they had won some money and all they had to do was send money for the taxes and they would get the money they won. Also there was another person's account at my job whose account was hacked into, and so they sent out some pictures of them to their friends and some spam email. So the bottom line is be careful of what is on your account and email, and check out things first that come your way. Tiffanie please let grandson know about this also, and anyone else you want to inform.


Love ya!"


Now, tell me you didn't smile and or laugh and or shake your head when you read this.  It's not possible, at least it wasn't for me.  My morning's start was craptastical, so imagine the instant joy I felt working its way through my mouse finger to turning my frown upside down.  This sweet, naive, gem did that.  I think I read it about 3 times, before I picked up the phone to call my mom.  That conversation went a little something like this:
---


Hi mommy!  I got your email.  


You did?  Okay, I'm glad.  I wasn't sure if it sent.  Well, anyway ain't that something?  


What?


That somebody hacked into my co-worker's account and asked for money.  You have to be careful.


I'm confused.


They hacked into her account and sent emails to a lot of people saying that they had won some money and all they had to do was pay for the taxes on the money and then they would get the winnings.  So she went all the way down to some place and wired the money.  When my other co-worker got in today she asked her if she got the money she sent her over the weekend.  She was like "I don't know what you're talking about."  Well they figured it out that it was spam and she went back to the email to show her.  It's crazy. You can't trust people and you have to be careful.  I'm just saying that you double check things or pick up the phone and ask and confirm before you do something.  Well, I know you wouldn't do that, but I wanted to spread it, just in case.  Oh, and the other one said someone broke into his account and sent very graphic types of pictures to his FaceBook friends and put it on their sites and stuff.  


Oh wow, okay.  I get spam emails all of the time and I just ignore them.  


Good!
---


We swapped a few more comments about how silly and unfortunate it was that her co-worker lost money, that she didn't really have.  Desperate times calls for desperate measures, huh? I absolutely loved this exchange, because it was so sincere.  



  

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Just Fine

It's been a while.  I have more drafts on my Blogger dashboard than I care to admit.  I've put so much energy into the crafting the perfect "I'm back" post that I haven't posted shyt.  So, I've decided to just write. 

This year has been absolutely amazing for me.  I can't say that enough and not bubble the phuck up inside.  I've been incredibly blessed beyond belief.  My homeboy sent me a text from him and his wife (still odd to type that, since he just got married) that said "This is the year of Tiffanie."  It's true.  Everything, and I mean e'rythang I've wanted has come true.  My daddy bought me a house.  My kids are flourishing.  I have the best, most honorable friends ever.  I got a raise and I'm "Employee of the Year" and I got a new job.  My dog is healthy, still an aggressive little fucker, but a joy.  Best of all, I'm an auntie!!! No one can test me.  I'm so happy, from the depths of my soul and it's a feeling I've never felt...EVER.  I'm not counting giving birth or being married as being comparable to this level of happiness.  I think mostly because it's come so naturally and is not forced.  In the seemingly darkest of times, I've found and maintained joy.  That puts me well on my way to be a Bodhisattva. 

As I've mentioned before, I'm a Buddhist.  Our "church" is held on the first Sunday of every month and it's called Kosen Rufu, which is what we like to call World Peace Day.  It's a way for us to come together to share amazing experiences, upcoming news, spread world peace, both locally and globally.  There's no formality to it, however each month is lead by a particular district.  Sometimes a little thrown together program is distributed upon entering the center.  Other times, it's just stuff.  This time we were given the lyrics to Mary J. Blige's song "Just Fine."  I thought it was a tad odd, but not for the reasons you may.  It had nothing to do with singing secular music in a sacred environment.  No.  It was more about "are we gonna sing this" and "does everyone in this room even know the rhythm?"  Well, seems we did and they did!  I thought it was the most fitting song and post to jump start my blogging again.  So, please read the words and know that they apply to me.


Just Fine by Mary J. Blige   

You know I love music
And every time I hear something hot
It makes me wanna move
It makes me wanna have fun
But it’s something about this joint right here
This joint right here
Its makes me wanna…..Woooh

Let it go
Can’t let this thing called love get away from you
Feel free right now, going do what you want to do
Can’t let nobody take it away, from you, from me, from we
No time for moping around, are you kidding?
And no time for negative vibes, cause I’m winning
It’s been a long week, I put in my hardest
Gonna live my life, feels so good to get it right

So I like what I see when I’m looking at me
When I’m walking past the mirror
No stress through the night, at a time in my life
Ain’t worried about if you feel it
Got my head on straight, I got my mind right
I ain't gonna let you kill it
You see I wouldn’t change my life, my life’s just…..

Fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, ooooh
Fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, ooooh
Just fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, ooooh
You see I wouldn’t change my life, my life’s just fine

Feels so good, when you’re doing all the things that you want to do
Get the best out of life, treat yourself to something new
Keep your head up high
In yourself, believe in you, believe in me
Having a really good time, I’m not complaining
And I’m a still wear a smile if it raining
I got to enjoy myself regardless
I appreciate life, I’m so glad I got mine
So I like what I see when I’m looking at me

When I’m walking past the mirror
Ain't worried about you and what you gonna do
I’m a lady so I must stay classy
Got to keep it hot, keep it together
If I want to get better
You see I wouldn’t change my life, my life’s just…..
Fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, ooooh
Fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, ooooh
Just fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, ooooh
You see I won’t change my life, my life’s just fine

I ain't gon’ let nothing get in my way
(I ain't gone let nobody bring me down, no, no, no)
No matter what nobody has to say
(No way, no way, no way)
I ain’t gon’ let nothing get in my way
No matter what nobody has to say

Feels so good, when you’re doing all the things that you want to do
Get the best out of life, treat yourself to something new
It’s a really good thing to say
That I won’t change my life, my life’s just fine

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Playa

Legally I'm single, free to mingle.  But the essence of me is a married woman.  I'm all tied up.  I've got shackles that chain me to one person, whoever that may be.  Bed hopping, body rocking, knocking boots all night long, ain't me.  My goodies are contained - fresh and sealed.  When the top is popped, only one hand goes in at a time.  I'm finger licking "betcha can't eat just one" Lays.  After the munchies have subsided and the high is low, I'm still here.  Except your cravings haven't been satisfied.  You're a picky eater - a snacker. One with an insatiable appetite, whose eyes are bigger than his stomach.

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